A December Update

It appears as though I only blogged twice during pregnancy.  As it turns out, sleep took precedence!  After birth, my maternity leave was so short that I wanted to spend all my time with Jack and not on the computer.  Going back to work was quite a struggle but I finally am beginning to find my footing and have a sense of balance in my life.  I have a lot of catching up to do on that front because I really do want to tell you all about pregnancy and birth in Hong Kong, but for right now, I just wanted to drop a quick note about Jack because I know a lot of people have been wondering if I’ve dropped off the edge of the earth.  (On that note, the earth is round.)  This note will be neither eloquent or interesting... but at least I'm staying in touch!   

Jack is pretty much the most amazing human being to ever grace the planet with his presence (well, in Mommy and Daddy’s eyes, at least).  We’ve been blessed with a rather easy baby; he’s almost always smiling, his laughter is contagious, and I feel like he’s learning new things every day.  His favourite things include: his hands, his feet, blankets and cloths, story time, falling asleep on Daddy’s shoulder, being outside, and saying “agoooo” and “bah”.  He’s 4.5 months, approx. 17.5 lbs and really, really tall.  The doctor said he’s a bit big for a Chinese baby, but that doesn’t matter since he isn’t Chinese.  He’s been sleeping through the night for about 1.5 months already but sometimes still wakes up around 5am for a quick snack or cuddle.  He drools around the clock and we go through several outfits and about half a dozen bibs per day… he’s been doing this since he was 2 months old, but no sign of a tooth yet.  

Thank you, everyone, for your interest in Jack.  Whenever I post a picture on Facebook (yes, I really need to do up a whole album), I just feel the love and support flowing from around the world.  I have two more days of work before the Christmas holidays and a ridiculous amount of marking to do in the meantime, so I’ll leave it here for now.  I promise I’ll write more on both blogs soon.  I really do!

The Superstitious Mommy Wars

Having lived in Hong Kong for four and a half years, I have made many local Chinese friends.  One important lesson I think most people learn when they travel a lot is that different cultures do things in different ways.  Sometimes, this makes me re-evaluate the way I’ve done things my whole life because another way makes more sense or fits my lifestyle better… other times, this just makes me shake my head in disbelief.  This post, meaning absolutely no offense to my Chinese friends who have the best of intentions, is going to be about the latter.

All cultures have their old wives’ tales.  When it comes to pregnancy, we certainly have ours too.  The thing is, we realize that these are silly and, at the end of the day, science trumps all.  Chinese culture, on the other hand, is so full of superstitions (many steeped in rich history) to the point where otherwise intelligent people throw all logic out the window.  I know it’s common to get unsolicited advice when you are pregnant, but some of the things I’ve been demanded told not to do (and the reasons behind them) just blow my mind.  This is all advice I’ve actually been given or things I’ve been chastised for doing.

Don’t tell people for the first three months: 
A lot of people do this in western cultures too because, devastatingly, this is the time when things are most likely to wrong.  I told people very early on.  If, God forbid, something happened to my baby in the first trimester, I would want my friends’ support more than anything!

Don’t reach about your head:
The baby will do the same and become tangled in the umbilical cord.

Don’t eat cold food:
This isn’t just pregnancy advice.  I’m forever being told that my water is too cold and my love of salads is a very unhealthy habit.  I’m not entirely sure how this is supposed to affect my pregnancy, but apparently I’m doing it all wrong.

No bananas:
The baby will slip out.  I’m not even kidding.

Don’t be too happy:
There will be a clash of joy.  For example, if I attend a wedding, I’ll be happy about the baby and the bride will be happy about the marriage.  This is just too much joy in one place.  I’ve been told I’m already carrying too much joy and I need to conserve my energy by slowing down my walking pace and eliminating the bounce in my step.

Don’t cry:
I’m going through a bit of a rough time with family circumstances in Canada.  Being away from home during something that feels scary and uncertain is difficult.  That, coupled with pregnancy hormones, has caused me to just sit and bawl my eyes out and I think this is perfectly normal.  However, I’ve been told that I’m harming the baby by being too emotional and I need to tone it down.  On top of what I’m already feeling, I don’t need that kind of guilt.

Don’t use scissors:
The baby could get a cleft lip.

Don’t redecorate/renovate:
At home, it is normal to fix up a nursery.  Here, that is to be avoided because paint can cause hideous birth marks and any construction can cause birth defects.  (Luckily, Hong Kong apartments typically don’t allow for what you are likely thinking of as a nursery anyway.)

Avoid chocolate and soy sauce:
Like the foods, your baby will be too dark.  I like to think that my pale, freckled skin will sort those genetics out. 

DO look at pictures of cute babies:
Okay, I can handle this one.  If you look at pictures of cute babies, your own baby will be cute.  Hmmm… I wonder if it matters that most of the cute baby pictures I look at are of animals. 

Confinement:
After the baby is born, there should be a month of confinement where you basically don’t leave the bed.  No coldness is allowed whatsoever.  This means no water or fresh fruits/veggies (but doesn’t an apple a day keep the doctor away… see, we’re no better), no air conditioning or even fans (my baby is due in August!) and NO SHOWERS.  Apparently, not having a confinement period can seriously affect your health in old age.  That is a chance I’m willing to take so I think I’ll take a pass on confinement.    

This was taken at 17 weeks 5 days while on vacation in Macau for my husband's birthday.  I found out after the fact how at risk I had placed both myself and the baby by taking a trip and causing a clash of joy.

I know there have been times when my local friends are deeply disgusted by me and the decisions I'm making.  I've actually had to tell people straight out that while I appreciate their concern, I am not Chinese and don't believe any of this.  The first few months were a bit of a struggle with hurt feelings on both ends, but in the end friendship has prevailed.  I know they are coming from a place of love, and I think they are happy to know that eating a banana is probably the worst thing I'm doing.  I think we can all agree that the baby will be just fine.  

All Your Questions, Answered Here

Welcome to my new baby blog!  I’ve decided to separate this from my travel blog because even though there will likely be some overlap in content, aside from friends and family, these two topics will also likely draw two very different sets of readers (but, as one of my friends commented on our FB announcement, this is our greatest adventure yet).  We’ve received an overwhelming amount of comments and inbox messages on Facebook and I can’t possibly reply to them all so I figured a good place to start would be an FAQ section.  So, with no further ado, here it is:

Congratulations!

Thank you so much!  The response to my pregnancy has been awesome and we're so happy to share our news with all of you!  This is a very wonderful time in our lives!  We’re overjoyed! You can tell by all the exclamation marks!

How far along are you?

I’m 12 weeks and 2 days today (January 28^th).  I’ve been bursting with this secret for so long but we’d wanted to tell our families in person over Christmas and then tell our Hong Kong friends in person after that.  At that point, we figured we might as well wait until after the ultrasound so we’d have a picture to go with the announcement.

When is the due date?

The baby is due on August 10^th, which also happens to be my mom’s birthday!

Gender?

We were given an “educated guess” at the ultrasound yesterday, but seeing as it is still early, we’re keeping our little secret for now until we’re sure. 

How are you feeling?

I feel great until around 2pm, but most of my classes are done by then anyway.  And if I feel bad at work, my coworkers are very accommodating and understanding.  From 2pm until I go to bed I feel awful, but that just gives me an excuse to lie on the couch and enjoy a Breaking Bad marathon.  H takes care of me.  I drink ginger ale.  It’s all good.  I’ve been missing my writing group meetings and gym time though, so that kind of sucks.

How is the baby?

The baby is great.  Everything is developing right on schedule and I’ve been obsessively using my “What to Expect” app and book to track daily and weekly progress.  The baby is currently the size of a plum.  Awwww!

Any food aversions or cravings?

Aversions: food in general.  I’ve lost 13 lbs being pregnant so far.  Since I’d gained so much weight a few years back, this weight loss is fine.  It’s perfectly normal for a woman to lose weight in the first trimester.  I feel super healthy right now and look better than I have in a long time.  Cravings: nectarines and pickles.  How very stereotypical of me, eh?  Does anyone know where to get deep fried dill pickles in Hong Kong?

There’s only one in there. 

I know.  I’m shocked too.  Totally thought it was twins. 

Will you move back to Canada?

Oh, it’s the million dollar question.  No, we’re staying in Hong Kong.  This is where our life is.  As much as it pains us to be away from our families and friends, we look forward to visits and Skype dates.  Three months pregnant is a very bad time to quit a good-paying steady job and move to the other side of the world with nothing but the clothes on our backs.  That seems irresponsible and foolhardy. 

What about Canada’s great health care system?

We aren’t Canadian residents and haven’t been for years.  We pay no taxes and therefore have no right to access the public health system, except through our travel insurance when we visit.  We would have to live in Canada for six months to become official residents again.  Hong Kong also has a great health care system.  In fact, from my experience so far, it’s better than in Canada.  Things are done a little differently here but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  As Hong Kong residents, we are provided with free, top notch care and are in very good hands here.

What about maternity leave?

Well, it sucks.  A lot.  I get a whopping eight weeks after the baby is born (and two weeks before, but that overlaps with summer vacation so it doesn’t really count).  Dads get three days.  However, on the positive side, because I have such an awesome job that pays well and covers our rent, H gets to be a stay at home dad.  He’ll get to have a quality bonding time with the baby while I’m at work and I’ll be home by four every afternoon for family time.  That’s not so bad.  (I also have about a billion sick days saved up.)

Your sister is pregnant too, right?

Yep!  She’s due in June.  It’s very exciting to be going through all this with her. 

Well, I guess that’s it for now.  Thank you again for all your support and love!  The baby will be lucky to have so many wonderful people in its life!